At Trust, one of the values we care about most is the self-belief that you can. This stems from having authentic confidence. Confidence that is authentic takes on a life of its own. It emanates energy that it evident in all that you do. As opposed to false confidence, a mask that people wear to hide their insecurities, people who are truly confidence have the inherent power to inspire, and make things happen. It’s all in their attitude and mindset.
People who are authentically confident may seem like a special breed. They make it look so easy. In their element, we see them innovating, speaking their mind, propelling themselves forward towards bigger and better things in their lives. It’s true, authentically confident people have a profound impact on everyone they interact with. In fact, The University of Melbourne recently published an article highlighting a correlation between authentic confidence and promotions at work.
Ever wondered how they do it? Are they really just born that way?
The truth is, what we see on the outside is only a small part of what is really taking place on the inside. Mindset matters. Dig deeper and you’ll see it reflected in the habits that they cultivate, the attitudes that they reinforce and the lifestyle that they choose daily. Authentically confident people are exerting so much positive influence on the inside, on themselves, that it seems effortless on the outside.
What we don’t see is their personal labor of love behind the scenes.
1. They are on a continuous journey of self-awareness. Authentic confidence requires the recognition of personal strengths and weaknesses. Truly confident people embrace criticism as much as they value compliments. They use criticism as a way to improve. However, they aren’t attached to the criticism, because they know that criticism is merely somebody else’s opinion. Instead, they spend a lot of time in healthy reflection and seek out feedback to continue to better themselves.
2. They speak with certainty. Most people they interact with place a premium on their time and confident people show their respect by speaking concisely and with certainty. Confident people recognise that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you cannot deliver your ideas with conviction.
3. They focus on small victories. According to another study, small victories create androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. Confident people recognise that small victories create a virtuous circle or more victories, and each victory adds up.
4. They don’t seek attention. In fact, they give it away freely. Confident people recognise that being yourself is a greater display of confidence than proving your worth. The right people will get attracted to the right attitude. Pay attention to authentic confidence, and you’ll see that those with it are constantly shifting the focus to others who worked hard to help get them there. Confidence begets confidence.
5. They don’t crave approval or pass judgment . Instead, they draw their self-worth from within. Confident people don’t waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet. They also don’t need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. There’s a common belief that if you need to bring someone else down, you’re already below them.
6. They listen more than they speak. People with confidence recognise that they are much more likely to learn and grow through active listening. While they like putting their opinions out there to see if they hold up, they’re always open to what others have to say. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know that this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to win people over, and to expand their own horizons.
7. They take risks. When confident people see an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, they ask themselves, “What’s stopping me? Why can’t I do that?” and they go for it. Fear doesn’t hold them back because they know that if they never try, they will never succeed. They recognise that fear is natural, what we do in the face of that fear makes all the difference.
8. They aren’t afraid to be wrong or unsure. Confident people embrace a growth mindset. They view their mistakes as learning opportunities. At the same time, they are comfortable acknowledging that they don’t know the answer.
9. They celebrate other people’s successes. Confident people aren’t worried about their relevance because they draw their self-worth from within. Instead of doubting themselves, they focus on all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table. They recognise that everyone has a part to play and constantly dish out praisefor their contributions. Confident people build confidence in others, and everyone is better off as a result.
Bringing It All Together
At the very core of a confident person, is someone who gets their happiness from within. Being happy is a subset of having strong self-love, which is a subset of confidence. Confident people know they are not perfect, and they care for their emotional well-being as they would a loved one. In order to be authentically confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are. Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience.(self-actualisation). It is not a set of prescribed rules, it is a state of mind.
Building confidence is a journey, a constant labor of love and a sense of openness to what the universe has to offer you. If you haven’t embraced it, it’s about time you did.